One speedy rejection from Fantasy and Science Fiction--form, not personal.
I'd say about every tenth rejection or so, I get really bummed out with the whole process. I think thoughts like, "Well, I'm just going to write and write and write and not try to sell any of it. Really."
And while there's nothing wrong with that--in fact, given that I don't feel that I write much in the way of deathless prose these days, I wonder if it wouldn't be doing myself and the world a bit of a favor. I've been born into an era where books lie thick on the ground, and the whole notion of writing because no one else is writing the kinds of things I want to read is silly. I just finished the latest Tamora Pierce book today... and this marks something like twenty years of her giving me exactly what I want to read. (I found In the Hand of the Goddess when I was eleven. It was an extremely formative moment.)
Okay, clearly, there's a bit more self-pity and self-doubt going on in the preceding period than is seemly... I don't suppose it's a coincidence that it ties in quite nicely with no longer having anything coming down the pipe (or is it pike? Weird... I can't remember) except a lone reprint next March.
Well, here's the thing... you can't get anyone else to shine a torch down into the dark culvert of self-pity to any real effect. The angle is all wrong. You're just going to have to learn to make fire by striking two stones together.
And by "you," I mean "me."
Off to find a flint...
PS: Anghara said quoted it very well today:
"If you really want to do this for a living, no one can stop you. But if you don't really want to do this for a living, no one can help you."
It's happy Note Transcription Day for me... when I pile all the scraps of paper and assemble all the emails I've sent to myself and put the notes into the stories they pertain to. More or less.
Some notes don't have stories. They're just research notes. Those notes go here--the theory being that when and if I need to look something up, my blog has a handy search function, and who knows, maybe someone else wants or needs to know this stuff.
*
Mackinac Island: the Grand Hotel.
-has sky-blue tiles on the verandah ceilings so that bats won't nest up there
-has 1 doctor, year 'round
-JJ Astor never went to Mackinac Island
-you can visit the stables at the Grand Hotel for free. But that's about the only part.
Behind the extended entry tag (not available in LJ), I'm putting the to-do list I made during Writer's Retreat... an exercise in truth-telling, I guess.
1. Mention "blood death" by name in "Rampion in the Belltower." sent it out Tuesday
2. Last brushup of "Almanac for the Alien Invaders" before sending to F&SF on Monday.
3. Foreshadow the ending of "Souls on a String" an eensy bit. I think I did. Then I sent it out. Now I wonder if I did it right. Oh, well
4. Find "Souls" a new market.
5. In "Sticks and Bones," make Rachel a bug, not a feature.
6. Cut 500 words from "Rampion." Sadly, I added about 500 words to it, to fix everything else. *shrug*
7. Work one hour on "Out of Medicine Hat" (which is not the title) Worked about 30 minutes before realizing I don't know where to take this story.
8. Work one hour on Tarot book. Nope.
9. Write a sample blog entry on modern scifi shows for application to blogging job. Did not apply. Not sure it was a bad thing.
10. Write a Christmas-related drabble for a thingie I've been invited to submit to. (Yay, invitations!) Wrote one. Hated it. Did not submit. I just don't have one hundred word ideas.
11. Work one hour on Heroes of the Cold Island. Done, and done. Have worked many more than one hour since.
12. Cut another 500 words from "Rampion." See number 6.
13. Work one hour on "greater than or equal to" Urgh.
14. Transcribe my current batch of notes (on slips of paper and in emails). Well-begun is half-done, but it's not done, and that's that.
15. Work one hour on the Midsummer book. No
16. Rewrite Brook book for one hour. I forgot I gave myself permission to do this. Sad...
17. Figure out which of my one-hour novel experiments most likely would make me want to keep writing for the next three months so I have a new novel for the spring workshop. This was done in some ways... between number 11 and number 18.
18. Work with Dave on the spring workshop planning.
19. Change "Rampion" to 3rd person POV.
Well. Hm.
Thing is, I could make to-do lists every day, and every single day, I'll do three things on it and then get distracted. It's just how I work. Is there an alternative to to-do lists??
Ah... Thanksgiving weekend. Were I NaNoing, I'd be writing frantically right now, hoping to pull in ten thousand words in a day or something. As it stands, I'm just writing, and that's just fine.
*
Pointed out by Jer Tolbert: An Economic Answer to the Fermi Paradox.
The Fermi Paradox being the "if aliens exist, why haven't I met one by now?"
I don't think it's a particularly good paradox, m'self. Seriously. Did Fermi not know how BIG space is and how LONG time is? To use a smaller-scale example: how many great empires existed in human history simultaneously? Not usually more than two. MAYBE three.
And how many Mayan citizens met Byzantines at the height of either civilization? Or at all, just from 330AD to 900AD, when the two civilazations overlapped in time?
And how many citizens of the Roman Empire met British Victorian Imperialists? Or Aztecs? Or modern Americans?
Even if life and sentience and civilization are not rare, I think that "not rare" in a universe as big as ours is still rather sparse. And beyond that, I have a feeling that life beyond our own may not be immediately recognizable.
116-day rejection from Asimov's. Onward... and onward.
My brain says it's Friday, though the calendar is quite certain it's not. It's a smidge confusing, because I think I haven't blogged in a week, when it's only a mildly embarrassing few days.
I must say that I no longer fully grok the purpose of my blogging-about-writing; I don't have pithy sayings or lengthy screeds or much of anything useful to say about craft. I barely have a point of view on many of the things that get other writers frothing at the mouth. It's probably past the point of being useful or interesting to watch me flail about. And yet, if I ever *do* find a direction for the whole gig, it will have been nice to have a few hundred entries from which to plot trajectory, so I guess I'll keep on.
I suppose the smart thing to do would be to use the blog to polish areas of writing I'd like to improve upon. Like learning to capture the whats-it I have that allows me to tell a lively story in person that falls flat on the page.
Something to consider, anyway. 'Scuse me, I must go pet my story, and tell it that there are plenty of other fish in the sea.
I've been tweaking-and-tweaking the website so that the navbar displays properly in IE (which it does not do for me on any computer I've tried thus far). CURSE YE, STYLESHEETS. This is why I'm not really a web designer. Lack of fluency in the ever-changing world of things ending in TML.
I'm am cold. Winter is here, for my purposes: the time when I'm only really warm in our house if steeping in a tub of hot water or bundled under six blankets while wearing wool socks and flannel jammies.
I have begun the Christmas shopping. I am holding myself to a very strict $10-ish dollar limit for the extended list (i.e., non-family and/or I wasn't the official witness at your wedding) for which I am the sole giver (joint gifts go higher). This is an attempt to introduce sanity into Christmas. I am trying to come up with a thoughtful addendum to the low-priced gifts, like a wacky poem or perhaps a picture I've taken. We'll see.
I am also trying to figure out good gifts for my mom, who is now a travelling nurse and can't really be given *things* right now, no matter how lovely or perfect. Consumables (in terms of food) aren't even a particularly good idea--I was wondering if there was anything cool like an organic fruit of the month club until I ran into the sickening thought of her having to change her address with them every three months. No way. I know that other traveling nurses have told her to eschew boxes and to pack everything in tote bags, but, well, I'm not giving her fifty tote bags. It just wouldn't be any fun. I have a few ideas, though...
Writer Liz Williams noted that she just completed certification in herbal studies, and a light went on--of course! One could learn about these things from more than just books! Which is not to say I don't love my shelf of herbals, but having someone actually point things out in the field or show me the way to do things would be lovely. Well, I googled, and there's a place not ten miles away that runs a herbalist certification program, and also does nice-looking weekend classes--so I wouldn't have to just jump right into an expensive program without getting my feet wet. (Not that expensive, actually, just more expensive than I want.)
My husband, of course, asked what I'd *do* with such a certification... somehow, the answer "write about it" doesn't ever make him jump for joy. I can't see myself attempting to become an herbal consultant of any sort (unless it would be to plant herb gardens for my family--my mom wants a Medicine Wheel herb garden in her next house), but I already grow a fairly extensive herb garden, and it'd be nice to get some real use out of it. Even if it's just making sage shampoo or something. (I've been trying to make my own shampoo, on and off, since I was seventeen years old. Now I might be able to make some *good* shampoo!)
So, that's the news for today... I'm still trying to settle down and write a new novel, but it keeps not happening. If anything, I get flashes on how to fix the old novel. Meanwhile, every short story I touch bloats up to novella-length at the drop of a hat. I used to be so very good at slighting plot and sticking to a decent word-count. (I used to think my natural story length was about 3,000-4,000 words! Because that's how they all came out! Now, 8,000 is a short piece for me. And it makes things much harder to sell.) One good thing: if I just stick with writing "short stories," I'll be naturally writing novels instead in about three years.
Right, so! The Town Drunk today has published my short story "One Million Years B.F.E.: Diary of an Anthropologist in Exile".
You can also still download the podcast version of my story at Escape Pod. You could even listen and read simultaneously.
This would actually be an excellent time to come up with a kooky contest... So I shall. To the person who identifies the most dissimilarities between Escape Pod and Town Drunk versions of "One Million Years B.F.E" before the end of the year, I'll send a free copy of Farthing number 4
My first contest! I wonder if there will be any entrants!
If anyone local to me wants a copy of Farthing number 4, featuring my short story "Dead Languages," I have ordered a few extra. You may purchase one off of me for $5. Or ask for one for Christmas--I'm feeling broke and yet self-pimpery, so either way.
Other recent good news includes the fact that I've cleared the decks and all stories that should be out are out. I have reached 36 submissions for the year, which is the total I hit last year. Freakily, I also have an identical acceptance rate for each year, though I might point out that 5 out of 6 of those acceptances all showed up in the 2006 calendar year, rendering 2005 ugly in my memory for all that it is statistically identical to this year.
I don't know if any other writers admit to this sort of thing, but I play little games with my submissions list and make bargains with God... "God, if you just give me a sale on story X, I won't take the next form rejection so personally." Ah, bargaining: not just a stage of grief anymore.
I find that the time of sending stories out the door is a time of boundless optimism for me. I just feel better right after sending them off. "Surely, this time they will find love," I think to myself. It's a nice counterbalance to all the submissions turning red on Duotrope's submission tracker (indicating that responses are long overdue). I don't have to do the little pre-query dance of checking every single site that tracks market times to figure out if mine is such an outlier that the submission was surely lost in the mail and now I've wasted one hundred and forty-three days... Argh.
Anyway. Having the decks cleared creates a daily check mark on my Joe's Goals account. Much like "eat 1 vegetable, ANY vegetable, damn you" (yesterday I got three checks for that, and finished every vegetable that wasn't iceberg lettuce in the house).
Okay. I've things to do. Dayjobs to get over. Books to read, cats to wax....
The Paid Companion by Amanda Quick (71) [romance]
Fairly typical Amanda Quick. She's not doing anything different, but no one minds. The premise is very cute, and perhaps not fully developed, but fully developed is not where Amanda Quick goes, and that would have de-romped the book. I could have stood to read either version, but this one was just fine.
Lost Burgundy by Mary Gentle (72) [science fiction]
I was unable to explain this book to anyone else at Writer's Retreat. But FINALLY, after 4 books, they explain Green Christ and just about everything else. I really loved Florian in this book. The ending very nearly satisfied me. Very nearly. I understand why this series consistently gets 4 out of 5 stars on Amazon--there are many, many wonderful things about it, but all love for it must be felt with reservation (with the possible exception of Mrissa). Like the character of Ash herself, the book is amazing to contemplate, but J really wouldn't want to get too close.
My Freshman Year: What a Professor Learned by Becoming a Student by Rebekah Nathan (73) [non-fiction]
A fantastic ethnography of student life at a big university. Considering "big university" is the setting of my day job and I employ numerous students, I did find reading this book both helpful and interesting. Not a lot has changed since I became a freshman 13 years ago--and yet, there are important differences, and most importantly, I've changed a lot in 13 years, and the pressures and problems of ages ago are significantly less fresh in my mind. Recommended reading to just about anyone anywhere whose paths may ever cross with a university or college of any sort.
As Dave Klecha noted, a weekend of writing refreshment was spent at the family cottage. I wrote--really wrote--for the first time since I got sick, and that was good, as I needed to get back on track, but what was really pleasing about the whole thing for me was that I didn't actually get any more writing done than I usually do in a weekend. Because that means I'm writing at or near max capacity on normal weekends, see? That's my theory, anyway.
Anyway, Dave and I are hatching a plan to create a Great Lakes area writing cabal. It's going to involve intensive bribery of Elizabeth and others like her--burgeoning neopros and dedicated-but-unpublished novelists--with long weekends of writing camaraderie and boating, but I think we'll pull it off.
Okay, so. Things I learned this weekend?
I also learned that Dave loves Duotrope and its submission tracker as much as I do. But that's 'cause he's smart.
I realized last night that if Julie sits next to me, my wireless card can't get signal. So, I got up this morning to quickly Cruz Teh Blogs while she's upstairs sawing logs. When she appears, I will go offline and write like the wind.
No, really!
I even have a to-do list! And without further to-do...
1. Mention "blood death" by name in "Rampion in the Belltower."
2. Last brushup of "Almanac for the Alien Invaders" before sending to F&SF on Monday.
3. Foreshadow the ending of "Souls on a String" an eensy bit.
4. Find "Souls" a new market.
5. In "Sticks and Bones," make Rachel a bug, not a feature.
6. Cut 500 words from "Rampion."
7. Work one hour on "Out of Medicine Hat" (which is not the title)
8. Work one hour on Tarot book.
9. Write a sample blog entry on modern scifi shows for application to blogging job.
10. Write a Christmas-related drabble for a thingie I've been invited to submit to. (Yay, invitations!)
11. Work one hour on Heroes of the Cold Island.
12. Cut another 500 words from "Rampion."
13. Work one hour on "greater than or equal to"
14. Transcribe my current batch of notes (on slips of paper and in emails).
15. Work one hour on the Midsummer book.
16. Rewrite Brook book for one hour.
17. Figure out which of my one-hour novel experiments most likely would make me want to keep writing for the next three months so I have a new novel for the spring workshop.
18. Work with Dave on the spring workshop planning.
19. Change "Rampion" to 3rd person POV.
And that's just for today.
Okay, maybe it's for the whole weekend...
Here we sit, at Writer's Retreat (me and Julie, that is; the others don't come in 'til tomorrow).
I've managed about five hundred words of a new short story--it's going quickly because I'm creating this story out of a dream I had a few weeks ago, and really, when your subconscious gives you a nice global warming-rebirth of magic story in one neat package, you'd be a fool to pass it up. I can't quite hit a title for it yet, but it will come to me as I write (she said, hopefully).
In the meantime, I should tell you that I've already given myself the joy of half-convincing myself that the crazed ghost of a homeless man is living in the basement. There's a light on down there that I don't remember turning on. Just for about a tenth of a second I had that momentary, "What if?" And plus, "The Library Seed" is rife with the ghosts of homeless men, so it was a bit like being in a Stephen King novel for a second there. I have refused to go turn of the light.
Julie mocks me, I might add. Even offered to come with me to turn off the light. But I'll note that she didn't offer to go down there by herself.
Hm...
Miss Snark has a very unsnarky post today that everyone who's even a little bit frustrated with the game should read.
I write because I have to. Publishing, validation, the rest of it--is a bonus, and the trek to acquire these things is the moral equivalent of tilting at windmills. (If I were writing to pay the bills, it would be a different story--in fact, I'd not be writing stories at all.)
Third time is the charm:
Happy NaNoWriMo to the brave ones. I am not currently NaNo-enabled, myself, but bon chance to those who are.
I've tried to post that twice now, and failed for a variety of reasons...
Rejections, rejections, rejections. I have a lot of stories to send out on Monday, let's put it that way.
Me? I've spent the weekend reading and watching Shakespeare. The week was spent reading and sleeping and digging out at work. Not a hundred percent after the week of sick--I get tired pretty easily--but feeling very nearly the thing now.
Books read of late:
Something Sinful by Suzanne Enoch (67) [romance]
The Rogue's Return by Jo Beverley (68) [romance]
Mystic and Rider by Sharon Shinn (69) [fantasy]
Billionaires Prefer Blondes by Suzanne Enoch (70) [romance]
As you can see, the romance streak continues. I was so excited to see the new Sam/Rick book that I surprised myself. I *hate* romance sequels. I *adore* this series, though.
Realizing I had an unread Sharon Shinn on hand that didn't involve angels was a treat... I couldn't tell you *why* I don't want to try her angel books, but I just don't. Not even a little. But I genuinely like everything she has written, on one level or another, so I can't quite figure out where my irrational prejudice comes from. Hm.
Though... one minor complaint about Mystic and Rider... the phrase "Senneth smiled" seemed like it was on every single page of the first half. Or if they do, it should be remarked on a few times in passing dialogue (culminating in "Why the hell you smilin' at me again, Senneth, you freak?") and left alone. TOO MUCH SMILING. I almost stopped reading the book at one point, but it did get better from there on.
I do think I need to reread Summers at Castle Auburn... if I could just remember to...