The Subletter of my subletter

Travis woke when his bedroom door opened and someone poked a head in.

"Oh, sorry, eh," someone said, and closed the door again. The retreating head looked like it belonged to one of the rental company guys. Travis sat up.

Sunlight streamed in the eastern window. Morning. That was odd. Travis threw on a pair of basketball shorts, tossed a bath towel over his shoulder and went out into the common room, on his way to the bathroom.

The common room was awfully chaotic for ten in the morning. The girls were usually in class now, and the guys upstairs were usually still asleep, as Travis himself would have been if not for intrusion by the rental company guy.

The rental company guy stood in the common room holding a clipboard and looking confused. A girl stood beside him, wearing a trendy hip-length coat not quite warm enough for the winter they'd been having, and sipping something from a paper coffee cup.

"So, TSM, like, do they have a pet fee?" Paper Cup Girl asked.

The rental company guy--Bill or Ed or something, there was a stain right over the name on his shirt--nodded. "Yes, we do."

"No pets!" Missy said. "Sissy is allergic."

"I'll keep it in my room," Paper Cup Girl said.

"I don't understand why TSM is finding us a subletter," Sissy said to no one in particular.

"I don't know why we can't find our own subletter," Missy added.

Bill-Ed said, "Because the previous lessee--" he consulted his clipboard, "Renée Dupree--turned the issue over to us. And, as she was already subleasing this apartment from someone--well, it's complicated enough, that we feel we need to keep an eye on things."

Travis stifled a yawn. Paper Cup Girl was blond and cute, but if she didn't take that coat off soon and show some goods, he wasn't going to stick around. How the girls managed the subleasing didn't matter much to him, since he wasn't going to get laid, anyway.

Paper Cup Girl looked around thoughtfully. "Something about this seems familiar." She turned and looked directly at Travis. "Do I know you?"

"I-I don't think so," he said.

"Hm," she said, and sipped her drink. Travis decided not to leave after all. The eye contact was the closest he'd gotten to sex all year.

Sissy turned to Missy. "I cannot believe Renée did this to us."

"I know!"

"Someone should go wake up the boys. They'll want to know what's going on."

"I'm not going up there."

" I'm not going up there, either!"

Paper Cup Girl and Bill-Ed tried to ignore the bickering as they conferred further about pet fees. Finally, Lia stuck her head out of her room. "What's going on?" she asked.

Sissy said, "Renée moved out! Without telling anyone!"

"She told us. Remember her graduation party?"

"No," Sissy said.

"Who graduates in December?" Missy asked.

Lia sighed, and tried to retreat. "Someone needs to go wake the boys!" Sissy whined before Lia could get away.

"Yeah, they should be part of this!"

Lia sighed again, and mounted the stairs. When she reached the landing, she called down, "You owe me!"

Paper Cup Girl had another sip of coffee. She cast a sideways glance at Travis, and tossed him a hint of a smile. He liked that. She was like summer sunshine. He revised his feelings of her inherent hotness on the spot.

Bill-Ed said, "Water, gas and electric are included."

Angry mutterings floated down from above and a clatter on the stairs announced the arrival of the boys. Mike and Brew-Dog pounded down the stairs with the authority born of athleticism. Sam followed a bit slower.

Paper Cup Girl turned to watch the procession. Travis was rather expecting the indrawn breath from her; he knew that girls tended to have a Thing, almost instantaneously, for Brew-Dog. Present company excluded: apparently there was nothing like familiarity to breed contempt among roommates.

"He leaves his dirty underwear on the bathroom floor," Travis found himself saying. "Complete with skidmarks."

Paper Cup Girl said, "Not him."

Travis watched the girl's eyes track Sam's much slower descent. She did not even glance at Brew-Dog's muscles.

"I love bug-eyed guys. Especially when they're clean-shaven," Paper Cup Girl breathed, staring at Sam.

Travis balanced on the knife's edge between amazement and jealousy. She liked Sam for his looks? Why couldn't she have a preference for skinny guys with stringy hair instead?

The boys stopped at the bottom of the stairs. Sam said, "Missy, I very much doubt you're going to find someone to sublet the apartment at the rate we need someone to pay."

Brew-Dog said, "Yeah!" in a masculine way; behind him, Mike nodded, equally masculine.

"So you may as well just back off and let this girl sign a lease." Sam stopped glaring at Sissy and Missy and called across the room. "What's your name?"

" Sharon," Paper Cup Girl said. Under her breath to Travis, she said, "I like them even better when they're well-spoken."
Introductions were made all around. Sissy and Missy caved, once they found out which side the boys were on, and Bill-Ed looked relieved.

Travis followed Bill-Ed and Sharon-Paper-Cup-Girl into Renée's old room and stood unobtrusively in the corner. Lia poked her head in, too, to keep an eye on the proceedings.

"This place looks really familiar," Sharon said.

"Maybe you came to one of our parties, once," Lia said.

"Maybe." Sharon seemed dubious.

Bill-Ed flipped through his paperwork, then turned to look at Travis and Lia. "Is there anyone here from the original lease?"

They stared at each other, then back at Bill-Ed. "I don't know," Lia said. "I'm subletting from some girl who left to join the Olympic karate team."

Travis shrugged. "I'm subletting from my cousin. She dropped out due to a family problem."

Bill-Ed looked frustrated. "What about the two girls?"

"They subletted from Joya and LaToya, I think? Sisters who went to Romania for a semester," Travis said.

"Brew-Dog is subletting from that guy who flaked out and moved to the Florida Keys," Lia said. "He plays the bongos on the beach, or something."

Bill-Ed found something in his paperwork. "Renée herself was a subletter," his said. "She was renting from a girl named Denise Jones... Who, in turn was subletting." Bill-Ed looked up from his paperwork, looking perplexed.

"Oh, my god," Sharon said. They all turned to look at her. "I signed a two-year lease on a house with my friends, because I didn't know if I was going to get into the Sorbonne program--and when I did, I never moved in, just went straight to France. Oh, my god! I subletted to a girl named Denise Jones!"

Bill-Ed scrabbled with the paperwork, and flipped to the last page on the clipboard. "Sharon North? You are the original tenant on this lease."

Sharon looked shocked. "No! Really?"

"Yes, I think so!" Bill-Ed said.

Sissy and Missy came into the doorway. "We just wanted to let you all know that we are moving out. Under protest."

"What? Who asked you to move out?" Lia asked.

Sissy and Missy looked at each other. "No one. We're moving out because we protest the subletting without our permission."

"That's not under protest then!" Sam shouted from the other room.

"Shut up!" Sissy said. The two girls looked confused. Travis tried not to laugh aloud.

"There's no point in you moving out, girls," Bill-Ed said. "It turns out that Sharon here is one of the original lessees."

Sissy scowled. "I don't even know what that means." She turned and marched out, arm in arm with Missy. Sharon smirked at Travis, and their eyes met again. He swallowed, trying to ease his suddenly dry throat. She was pretty. She definitely caused... glowing. Yes. Glowing.

Brew-Dog slid into the room. "Good riddance, if they do move out."

"No kidding," Bill-Ed said. "I don't like to speak ill of our tenants, but..."

"Speak ill! By all means," Lia said. "They never pony up for the phone bill, and they're always calling the psychic hotline."

Bill-Ed snorted, and peered at his paperwork again.

"Just out of curiosity," Travis said, "Who were the original tenants for their room?"

"Joya and LaToya," Bill-Ed said thoughtfully, and flipped a page, "And they sublet from Laurie and Corry."

"Laurie and Corry were supposed to be my roommates," Sharon said. "I think they both dropped out. Bad grades. Community college ended up being more their speed."

"Sissy and Missy aren't that far off from the same fate," Sam said, entering the room.

Travis felt his heart sink as Sharon's face brightened when she saw Sam.

"And they're going to have a hard time finding anyone to take over their lease," Sam added.

"Why, because everyone on campus has already been on our lease?" Travis asked, trying his best to bug his eyes out.

Sharon laughed, and Travis smiled. Maybe, if he shaved, and spoke well from now on... and maybe if there was a plastic surgery for bug eyes...

"No, because it's the middle of the quarter," Sam said patiently.

"Just let them eat the money," Brew-Dog said.

"They won't keep paying their bills if they move out," Lia said.
"That's absolutely true," Travis said, enunciating each word precisely.

Lia and Brew-Dog both gave Travis a strange look.

"Subletters, in any case, would be preferable to Sissy and Missy. If they could find any," Sam said.

"The subletter of my subletter is my... enemy?" Travis said.

Again, Lia and Brew-Dog gave Travis a strange look.

"The subletter of my subletter is my... friend?" Travis tried again.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Lia asked.

Sharon said, "Well, Doug, I think I'll just move in here, and I guess we don't have to sign a lease at all?"

Travis asked, "Who's Doug?"

Now, everyone was giving Travis a strange look. Bill-Ed raised a hesitant hand. "That would be me."

Travis coughed. "I'm gonna go shower," he said, and slunk from the room.

On the way to the bathroom, he passed Sissy and Missy's room. They'd hung a sign on the door: "This room temporally closed for the duration of our move."

He stopped and frowned at the sign. Sam and Lia popped out of Sharon's new room, and stood beside him, facing the door.

"Idiots," Lia said.

"If only it were possible," Sam said regretfully. "Just turn the room into a wormhole and don't open the door until the end of the semester."

"That's not a bad idea," Doug said, coming into the hallway. He pulled a drill from his toolbelt and screwed a latch plate into the door.

"What are you doing?" Lia asked, unconcerned but curious.

"Installing a temporal lock on the door, at Sam's suggestion."

"What?" Sam asked. He, at least, sounded alarmed.

"It's ok. They'll be out of your hair for the rest of the semester, and I'm sure their parents will still send rent money, so everything will come out ok." Doug sounded very self-assured as he pulled the hasp through the latch-plate and padlocked the door.

There was a giant sucking sound, and the door disappeared. The roommates clustered around and stared.

"Is this legal?"

"Won't they starve?"

"Only a day will pass for them," Doug said. "And it's not illegal. And, no, Sharon, you don't need to sign a new lease." He spun his drill like a six-shooter and put it away.

"I don't--I mean, how!?" Sam exclaimed. "You're a maintenance guy!"

"It's in the name of our management company... we aren't just off-campus student housing."

" TSM?" Lia asked. "I thought it stood for Thompson Smith Management."

"Or Tenament Slum Management," Sam said.

"No. It stands for Time Space Management. We have rental properties throughout the cosmos, and all over the arc of time," Doug said.

"Oh. Right. I remember seeing that on the letterhead," Travis said.

"See you guys later. Don't forget to pay your rent!"

And Doug was gone.

They all stared at each other. Travis held Sharon's eyes as long as she let him, but she didn't have eyes for him--or for Sam anymore, either.

Sharon gazed after Doug. "I love men with power tools," she said breathily.